Someday

"Gonna Get Over You"
Sara Bareilles

Goodbye
Should be sayin' that to you by now, shouldn't I?
Layin' down the law that I live by,
Though maybe next time

I've got a thick tongue,
Brimming with the words that go unsung
Simmer then the burn for a someone,
A wrong one

And I tell myself to let the story end,
My heart will rest in someone else's hand
My 'why not me?' philosophy began,
And I say

Ooh, how'm I gonna get over you?
I'll be alright, just not tonight
Someday, oh I wish you'd want me to stay
I'll be alright, just not tonight,
Someday

Maybe is a vicious little word that can slay me
Keep me when I'm hurting and make me,
Hang from your hands

Well, no more,
I won't beg to buy a shot at your back door
If I make it at the thought of you, what for?
It's not me anymore

And I'm not the girl that I intend to be,
I dare you darling, just you wait and see
But this time not for you but just for me,
And I say

Ooh, how'm I gonna get over you?
I'll be alright, just not tonight
Someday, oh I wish you'd want me to stay
I'll be alright, just not tonight,
Someday

Say it's coming soon,
Someday without you,
All I can do
Is get me past the ghost of you,

Wave goodbye to me,
I won't say I'm sorry,
I'll be alright
once I find the other side of someday
Oohoohooohoohooh...
Oohoohooohoohooh...

Ooh, I'm gonna get over you!
I'll be alright, just not tonight
Someday, oh you'll wish you'd want me to stay
I'll be alright, just not tonight,

Someday.

To Whom It May Concern

The Civil Wars

Why are you so far from me?
In my arms is where you are to be
How long will you make me wait?
I don't know how much more I can take

I missed you but I haven't met you
Oh but I want to
How I do

Slowly counting down the days
Till I finally know your name
The way your hand feels round my waist
The way you laugh, the way your kisses taste

I missed you but I haven't met you
Oh but I want to
How I do
How I do

I've missed you but I haven't met you
Oh how I miss you but I haven't met you
Oh but I want to
Oh how I want to

Dear whoever you might be
I'm still waiting patiently

You see the light, in me.

So, this is pretty much the most adorable thing I have ever seen.  Like ever.  Seriously love it.

Ingrid Michaelson + Greg Laswell (and they're now MARRIED!  How perfect is that?!)

I’ve tried my hand in silence,
it seems I should come clean
When it comes to you and me girl,
I’ve avoided saying one thing
Its been there for a while now,
this line I will now sing
Till your mine, till your mine, I’ll sing.

Oh baby, my baby,
You’ve held me
through many broken hearts
And maybe, just maybe
You can fix all my broken parts.

And you took me by surprise
When you took my hand
And you with your dark brown eyes
You see the light, that I can’t see
You see the light in me.

Nevermore

The Raven, by Edgar Allen Poe.  Beautiful. just beautifully. heartbreakingly beautiful.

The "Appennine Colossus" by Giambologna

You've got to admit, that's pretty cool, right?  Imagine you were walking along a nice italian garden and BAM!  There's a giant mountain statue rising out of the rocks.  Pretty cool, eh?

Buckets of Rain

Buckets of rain
Buckets of tears
Got all them buckets coming out of my ears
Buckets of moonbeams in my hand
You got all the love honey baby
I can stand.

I been meek
And hard like an oak
I seen pretty people disappear like smoke
Friends will arrive friends will disappear
If you want me honey baby
I'll be here.

I like your smile
And your fingertips
I like the way that you move your hips
I like the cool way you look at me
Everything about you is bringing me
Misery.

Little red wagon
Little red bike
I ain't no monkey but I know what I like
I like the way you love me strong and slow
I'm taking you with me honey baby
When I go.

Life is sad
Life is a bust
All ya can do is do what you must
You do what you must do and ya do it well
I'll do it for you honey baby
Can't you tell?

The Past. The Present. The Future.

Although this was originally a blog to vent about my emotions and experiences through music, I feel like its become a place of negativity and resentment.  And I don't want that.  There's no reason for me to be miserable and hateful.  It doesn't matter.  The past is over.  I have better things to worry about.

So.  I'd like to share with you this quote:

"The past is to be learned from but not lived in.  And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experiences, then we look ahead, we remember that faith is always pointed toward the future.  Faith always has to do with blessing and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives."  

- Jeffery R. Holland 

Two Atoms in a Molecule

Noah and the Whale

Last night, I had a dream
We were inseparably entwined
Like a piece of rope made out of two pieces of vine
Held together, holding each other
With no one else in mind
Like two atoms in a molecule
Inseparably combined

But then I woke from the dream
To realize I was alone
A tragic event, I must admit
But let's not be overblown
I'm not trying to write a love song
Just a sad, pathetic moan
And maybe I just need change
Maybe I just need a new cologne

But now I look at love
Like being stabbed in the heart
You talk to each other from day to day
And then one day you part
Most of the time it's misery
But there's some joy at the start
And for that, I'd say it's worth it
Just use a blade that's short and sharp on me

Oh if love is just a game
Then how come it's no fun?
If love is just a game
How come I've never won?
I guess maybe it's possible I might be playing it wrong
And that's why every time I roll the dice
I always come undone

Me in You

Kings of Convenience
P.S. I LOVE this music video

Crossroads and given the option
To pass and look back at goals I've missed 
Rainbows or burning badges
If you squint a little more it looks the same

But ooooooooooooooooooooooooh
There's a little bit of me inside you 
Gathering what you've lost
But oooooooooooooooooooooooooh
There's a little bit of you in everyone
Can never keep a secret 

Problem lines on your face
You smooth them out so no one can tell 
put a straight back upon a stage
could (dance dance) hide the tremor in your hand 

But ooooooooooooooooooooooooh 
There's a little bit of me inside you 
Gathering what you've lost 
But oooooooooooooooooooooooooh
There's a little bit of you in everyone

And I'm watching you now 
I see you building the castle with one hand
while tearing down another with the other

And I'm watching you now
I see you building the castle with one hand 
while tearing down another with the other 

And I'm watching you now
I see you building the castle with one hand
while tearing down another with the other

Hrumph.

I. MISS. CAMBRIDGE.  That is all.

the race called MEN.

I am losing faith in the race of men.  After looking back at what I've been though and hearing of others experiences, its just disheartening.  And these are the ones I thought I could believe in!  When will they step up and be men?  When will they be accountable for their actions?  When will I find someone worth having?  Are they really all beneath me?  (I guess that it better than to say am I really beneath all of them).  Goodness, maybe I do need to get out of here.  Maybe I need to get to grad school and find someone worth having there.  I shouldn't think that I'm above them, but this undergrad, still immature mentality is just plain getting old.  I need to find an older man.  Maybe the increase of years will add to an increase in maturity, accountability and fidelity.  I just don't get it.  I thought they'd have grown up after their missions.  I guess I was wrong.

...Seriously?

My life is so ironic.  Its like a movie.  I'm the hero before she makes it to the happy ending.  Or maybe that's just life.  But, come on, haven't I been through enough sad-song montages?  That's just it.  Life isn't like a movie and I shouldn't expect an immediate happy ending.  That's what life is teaching me.  You can't expect it.  It has to surprise you.  BAH.

Wanted

I just want to be wanted.

-----

Hunter Hayes

You know I'd fall apart without you
I don't know how you do what you do
'Cause everything that don't make sense about me
Makes sense when I'm with you
Like everything that's green, girl I need you
But it's more than one and one makes two
Put aside the math and the logic of it
You gotta know you're wanted too

'Cause I wanna wrap you up
Wanna kiss your lips
I wanna make you feel wanted
And I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
Never let you forget it
Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted

Anyone can tell you you're pretty
(Yeah)
You get that all the time, I know you do
But your beauty's deeper than the makeup
And I wanna show you what I see tonight

When I wrap you up
When I kiss your lips
I wanna make you feel wanted
And I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
Never let you forget it
'Cause baby I wanna make you feel wanted

As good as you make me feel
I wanna make you feel better
Better than your fairy tales
Better than your best dreams
You're more than everything I need
You're all I ever wanted
All I ever wanted

And I just wanna wrap you up
Wanna kiss your lips
I wanna make you feel wanted
And I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
Never let you forget it
Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted
Yeah, baby I wanna make you feel -
Wanted
'Cause you'll always be wanted

-----


Reasons why I'm not wanted:
- keep to myself
- I"m melancholy, moody, depressed
- I'm not as spiritually strong as I need to be
- I'm not in the best shape
- complexion 
- I think too much



Reasons why I should be wanted:
- I'm ambitious
- I care about people (family friends)
- Cambridge, HSAC, ORCA
- I'm fun, aren't I?  
- I'm sincere, I feel things deeply
- I'm loyal
- I'm trying
- I just don't like myself right now.

Self Portrait

Stephanie Smith

All of these dreams in my head keep spinning round
I'm grabby my paper and pencil to pin 'em down
I'll sketch my world as a prettier place draw myself with a smiley face
And make this picture perfect
But all of these lines on my page won't mean anything
Until i learn to erase the ones that I don't need
I'm covering up the stupid mistakes and starting over and over again
To make this picture perfect

I'll start with where I'm standing now
And begin shaping where I wanna be
No one can tear my picture down
Because it's me and as long as I'm still proud of this self portrait I'm creating I'm doing fine
Yeah, I'm doing fine, yeah

Every now and again someone comes along
They try to box me into a corner I've drawn
Pushing the walls down, I'm struggling free
Makes me strong so I can keep making this picture perfect (yeah, yeah)

I'll start with where I'm standing now
And begin shaping where I wanna be
No one can tear my picture down
Because it's me and as long as I'm still proud of this self portrait I'm creating I'm doing fine
Yeah, I'm doing fine, yeah

What I'm sketching doesn't have to be anything facy, no
I'm just shaping stronger sides of me, of me, of me, yeah yeah yeah

I'll start with where I'm standing now
and begin shaping where I wanna be
No one can tear my picture down
because it's me and as long as I'm still proud of this self portrait I'm creating I'm doing fine
yeah, I'm doing fine, yeah
I'm doing fine, yeah
I am doing fine
I'm doing fine

The Age of Worry

The Age Of Worry
John Mayer

Close your eyes and clone yourself
Build your heart an army
To defend your innocence
While you do everything wrong

Don't be scared to walk alone
Don't be scared to like it
There's no time that you must be home
So sleep where darkness falls

Alive in the age of worry
Smile in the age of worry
Go wild in the age of worry
And say, "Worry, why should I care?"

Know your fight is not with them
Yours is with your time here
Dream your dreams but don't pretend
Make friends with what you are

Give your heart then change your mind
You're allowed to do it
'Cause God knows it's been done to you
And somehow you got through it

Alive in the age of worry
Rage in the age of worry
Sing out in the age of worry
And say, "Worry, why should I care?"

Rage in the age of worry
Act your age in the age of worry
And say, "Worry, get out of here!"

And the World Turned

This is beautiful.  and painful.  

Girl stood on the rocks with the water at her feet

the sun on her skin and a tear on her cheek

With her hand on her chest and the wind in her hair

Underneath her breath like a beggar's prayer she said

I miss you, come back to me

I wish you'd come back to me

But nobody heard

And the world turned and the world turned and the world turned

And thats when the girl reached in her pocket

pulled out a silver heart-shaped locket

Opened it up and stared for a while at her faded boy

with a lazy smile, oh how

I miss you, come back to me

I wish you'd come back to me

But nobody heard

And the world turned and the world turned and the world turned

And she walked to the deepest part of the river

And she thought about diving in

She imagined how the current would overtake her

How easy it would be to disappear

But instead she tossed the locket

In the cool, blue, water

That night in her bed, she let herself weep

She let herself cry herself to sleep

And there in a dream somewhere in the night

Saw the boy and the locket by the riverside, saying

I miss you, come back to me

I wish you'd come back to me

But nobody heard

And the world turned and the world turned and the world turned

the continuous question.

Why is it so hard to be happy?

Sometimes.

Sometimes I listen to your songs and the pain in the pit of my stomach returns.  Sometimes I read your old e-mails and cry.  Sometimes I'd like to think I've forgotten you and moved on.  Sometimes I actually trick myself into believing that.  

But the truth turns around and slaps me hard, waking me up to my reality.  I still miss you.  I still love you.  I still want you.  

I still hurt over you.   

And you don't care. You've moved on.  You have a new girl.  You've had her from the beginning.  You. don't. care.  

Do you think of me?  What do you think when you think of me?  Are you happy?  Are you sad?  Do you feel any pain or remorse?  Do you ever wonder how I'm doing?  Do you want to talk to me?  Do you even know how much I'm hurting?  Do you even care?  You don't.  If you did, you wouldn't be acting so.  

Norah Jones
Carnival Town

Round 'n' round
Carousel
Has got you under it's spell
Moving so fast, but
Going nowhere

Up 'n' downFerris wheel
Tell me how does it feel
To be so high 
Looking down here

Is it lonely?
Lonely
Lonely

Did the clown
Make you smile 
He was only your fool for a whileNow he's gone back home
And left you wandering there

Is it lonely?
Lonely
Lonely

Love Your Tree!

-<* L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N. *>-

L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.!
You've got more than money and sense, my friend, 
You've got heart and you go in your own way

L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.!
What you don't have now will come back again, 
You've got heart and you go in your own way.

On my last night on earth,
I wanna look to the sky,
Just breathe in the air,
And blink in the light.

On my last night on earth,
I'll pay a high price,
To have no regrets, and be done with my life.

Last Night

Last night I dreamed you held me in your arms.  I don't know who you are.  You had light brown hair and were shorter than I thought you were.  You held me tight until I felt better.  Will you do so now?

Darkness.

Grooveshark Schtuff

So, this what how I feel right now.  I'm just sick of being alone.  No, I take that back.  I don't mind being alone, sometimes.  I'm just sick of having to scrounge up people to do stuff with.  I just want a built in best friend/lover.



What You Know, Two Door Cinema Club


I can tell just what you wan.
You don't want to be alone
You don't want to be alone
I can say its what you know
But you've known it the whole time
You've known it the whole time


A Team, Ed Sheeran

Its too cold outside for angels to fly. 


Darden Road, Beta Radio


If you're scared to be alone
Then come love me and live in my home
Have all the stars left your eyes
Have they gone back into the skies
I don't wanna clean my room
Cause I might clean my memories of you
And if you want we will build our home
In Princeton Place, off of Darden Road

Merry Happy - Kate Nash

So, I really shouldn't listen to this song.  It just makes me upset.  But, I couldn't help it.  (Yeah, I know, I'm pretty transparent).

Gave me those pearls and I thought they were ugly
Though you try to tell me that you never loved me
I know that you did
'Cause you said it and you wrote it down

Dancing at discos
Eating cheese on toast
Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around

So I learnt from you

I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone
I can watch a sunset on my own

Chatting on the phone
Can't take back those hours
But I won't regret
'Cause you can grow flowers
From where dirt used to be

Home - Phillip Phillips

This song kills me (in just about the best way possible).

Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home.

Falling for Fall

Yay for the season of jackets and scarves and sweaters!


....Hey Jamie, where's yuh sweata?

"I'll make you laugh."

Oh, so many good stories.  It was hard to choose just one!

Paris, je T'aime

I get done watching a beautiful movie (yes, about Europe, I confess) and walk out of the SWKT (Paris)  and I'm back on mundane BYU campus with 3 test staring me in the face.  Ugh.  Go away school, so I can live LIFE!  I've forgotten what it feels like to be ALIVE!

Get Out of My Dreams!

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I need to hire a bouncer for my subconscious.

When We Meet Again - Nicole Renolds

when we meet again
my bones will ache 
my muscles shake
my blood will rush
my face will flush

when we meet again
your eyes will drop
my heart will stop 
the time will show
your hair has grown
we are alone, now

oh, i want you some
but oh,
the things you've done
oh, you love me some
but oh
you son of a gun

when we meet again
the past will flash
it's all rehashed
our ship has sailed
train derailed
engine failed us

my skin can sense
the evidence
of our tenseness
our pheromones
all alone
could make us moan
but we won't let them
oh, i want you some
but oh,
the things you've done
oh, you love me some
but oh
you son of a gun

when we meet again
we'll pick a fight
you know i bite hard
do your friends know
you're not in rome
we'll smash our phones
and disappear
in two directions
alone 

when we meet again
my bones will ache 
my muscles shake

when we meet again
the past will flash
it's all rehashed

when we meet again
we'll pick a fight
you know i bite hard
do your friends know
you're not in rome
we'll smash our phones
and disappear
in two directions

alone.

♪♫•*¨*•.Intro

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.
- Victor Hugo