I will try to fix you.

So, just hours after loosing the leather jacket I bought at a market in London, I turn on my ipod and Coldplay's Fix You comes on.  How fitting for a day like this. 

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
(I have good intentions, but I can never seem to follow through)
When you get what you want, but not what you need
(I want to eat chocolate, sleep whenever I want and watch movies.  I need to be healthy and productive)
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
(Yep.  yep yep)
Stuck in reverse
(perpetually slipping backwards after every step in the right direction)

And the tears come streaming down your face
(Well, I'm not crying yet.  I refuse to believe its really gone)
When you lose something you can't replace
(That jacket really is irreplaceable.  Even if I somehow got back to Portabello Road and found the same guy with the same jacket, it wouldn't be the same). 
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
(That's basically all the time.  But, then again, isn't that true love?  Loving without any guarantee of reciprocation?)
Could it be worse?
(It can always get worse)

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
(Yeah, I could go for a hug right about now.  And someone who cared enough to try to put me back together and make me feel whole)

;gh;awihg;weigh;weogiha;weoigha;wegiha;skdgjh;w

So they want him?  They want someone without any experience over me?  But, seriously, how did I not see this coming.  He's perfect.  Of course they want him over me.  They don't care how much time and effort I've already put into the organization.  I kind of do want to bail, but I know I can't.  I just hope they don't choose me out of pity.  That would be worse than being second in command.

Ugh.  I was worried enough about him being on the council, now I have to work with him as a president/vice president duo?  I. HATE. THIS.  Can't I just be rid of him?  Why do we have to be forced together.  I am so sick of him.

I wonder if anyone else knew about this.  Anyone in particular.

And so it comes down to this.  I'm just not good enough.  Once again.  He's applying for this, he's published that.  What have I done?  Nothing.  He likely won't even be there for NSO.

Oh the things people say

Quotes from creative writing class today:

"I'm a practicing lover."

"Maybe you can't have midgets be the store clerks."

"She's heard it before and she's a woman, so back off."

Eve

"In life all must choose at times. Sometimes, two possibilities are good; neither is evil. Usually, however, one is of greater import than the other. When in doubt, each must choose that which concerns the good of others—the greater law—rather than that which chiefly benefits ourselves—the lesser law. The greater must be chosen whether it be law or thing. That was the choice made in Eden.”

-John A. Widtsoe